At some point in my life, I thought that forgiveness is just given to someone who asks for it. I had enough experiences to test my patience and ability to forgive, but there are exceptions. Some people and situations that are just terribly difficult to deal with. There are those that have deeply hurt me. I felt that forgiveness was not even appropriate to get inner peace. I thought that forgiving people that easily is not a way to make them sorry for being irrresponsibly hurting other people, instead, it just letting them get away with it. Of course, this may also sounds an excuse, I’m only human. The best thing I can do is to be civil and educated enough to ignore these insensitive people who doesn’t seem to realize that they need to apologize if they did something wrong. I usually treat them like they don’t exist. However, that’s not just the right thing to do as I realize that a part of my life meaninglessly disappear and a bit of my world stops because i have to control the pain and anger within me. Ignoring them would not by far make me a better person or the situation sensible enough to face.
There have been people who say that “Kung Ang Diyos Nga Nakakapagpatawad, Tayo Pa Kayang Tao Lang”…… still, i didn’t get it. I used to overly rationalize things. Some even say, “You’re more blessed than them so just be grateful and forgive them”. Then again i thought, what does being grateful have to do with being forgiving? And yeah, it didn’t get to me either.
One of my bosses in the media and entertainment industry where i used to work told me, “Forgiving is one act that (intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually) strong people can do effortlessly fast”. Then i began to think and told myself, “i thought i was strong enough in everything”. I suddenly saw myself in deep thoughts, admitting myself that I’ve been using my strength inaptly. I immediately realized that I may have been strong but applying it inappropriately in some situations.
Then someone I care about a lot said “forgiveness can also be given to people who don’t ask for it or even don’t intend or realize that they have to ask for it”.
Now, I understand that forgiveness doesn’t excuse someone’s behavior but it prevents their behavior from destroying your heart. Forgiveness does not mean we must forever act as though some things never happened. It does not make us weak, it sets us free from bitterness and grudges.
It could be a fast way for us to begin to heal when we let go of the past hurts, forgive those who have wronged us even if they don’t ask for it. It’s like forgiving others as quickly as we expect God to forgive us.
I know forgiving is not always or will never be easy, at times it feels more painful than the wound we suffered, but we can never achieve peace and happiness just because we were able to ignore or forget…. it’s because we can (sincerely) FORGIVE.